A ‘peek’ inside the White House as bas news piles up for Joe Biden

Inflation is soaring and so is murder, swarms of migrants are illegally crossing the border and with Russia ready to invade Ukraine, the best President Biden can do is tell Americans there to run for their lives. Even our Olympic athletes are in a medal funk.

The bad news piles up by the day, prompting a growing chorus to conclude Biden is the worst president ever. Rest easy, Jimmy Carter!

The White House is a bubble, but even it can’t escape the national mood of fear and loathing. So you have to wonder how Biden himself stomachs the daily drumbeat of decline and despair.

Ask and you shall receive. Thanks to help from a fly on the wall and what we know from the president’s erratic public behavior, here’s what it must be like when the president is confronted with the latest evidence his presidency is a disaster.

Setting the scene

On this day, the economic team is the first to bear the burden of delivering bad news. The latest inflation number has just been released and it’s through the roof, 7.5% year over year, driving up the price of everything. As economic advisers begin to spell out the details in the Oval Office, Biden, who appeared half-asleep, is suddenly filled with fury.

“You’re being a wise guy,” he snaps at one of the briefers. “I know the damn numbers, so don’t rub it in. Just give me something to say.”

The room is silent until domestic diva Susan Rice pipes up with an idea. “You could just say it’s all because of the supply-chain stuff and then say you’re going to work hard to fix gas prices. I mean, I just filled my tank the other day and paid . . .”

US President Joe Biden speaks on the phone with Russia's President Vladimir Putin
Biden speaks on the phone with Russia’s President Vladimir Putin amid growing tensions at the Ukraine-Russia border.
The White House via REUTERS

Vice President Kamala Harris nods agreement, then realizes she doesn’t know where Rice is going and lets loose a loud cackle that is as pleasant as fingers on a blackboard.

Biden’s eyes are shooting bullets at her as he mumbles, “Why? Why her?”

Chief flak catcher Jen Psaki, trying to get back to the point, offers an editing suggestion to the president: “Say you’re going to work like the devil to fix it.”

“Fix what, you stupid son of a bitch?” he barks. Psaki’s face turns red, but she stays on point.

“Just say you’re going to work like the devil to bring gas prices down,” she manages to answer.

At that, 10 of the top officials in the United States government fall silent and stare at their shoes for what seems like forever until Biden nods and says, “Yeah, put that in the teleprompter. That’s it, I’ll fight like the devil to bring gas prices down.” He repeats the line three times, getting more emphatic with each rehearsal.

Whew — problem solved. Chief of Staff Ron Klain stands up and waves his hand for everyone to leave quickly. If the president can stick to the script for that one sentence, the media will have the quote of the day, if not an answer to the gas-price problem.

Besides, Klain’s not worried about the White House press corps. Most are friends and don’t even ask about the nonstop polls showing how the country has overwhelmingly turned on Biden. It’s a gift because Klain has no good answer.

Vice President Kamala Harris speaks at an event highlighting Newark's efforts to replace lead water pipes.
Vice President Kamala Harris speaks at an event highlighting Newark, New Jersey’s efforts to replace lead water pipes.
Stefan Jeremiah/AP

When they are alone, Biden tells Klain he wants to take a nap, but Klain says there isn’t time. Biden grumbles as the foreign-policy team comes into the Oval, led by Secretary of State Antony Blinken.

Biden doesn’t recognize him at first, then guesses he’s John Kerry.

Blinken frowns and introduces himself for the millionth time and, flanked by generals, starts to talk about Russian forces on Ukraine’s borders, but Biden doesn’t want to hear it. He is mad about something and looking at Gen. Mark Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, says with an edge, “I reject it. You’re wrong. What we did in Afghanistan was the wisest course of action.”

BidenSpeak

Milley is stunned. For months he and the White House discussed the Army’s secret report on what went wrong in Afghanistan and why everybody was caught off guard by the speed of the Taliban takeover. Biden had agreed the State Department was slow to get our citizens and allies out, but now that the report is public, the president is switching sides and hanging Milley out to dry.

The general starts to answer, but Blinken cuts him off. Much as he’d like Biden to rip Milley a new one, he needs to focus on Ukraine, lest it become another Afghanistan.

“Mr. President,” he begins, “we believe Putin is going to invade any day now. At least we have to do something about all the Americans trapped there.”

US troops set up camp at a military airport in Mielec, southeastern Poland.
US troops were recently deployed to Poland due to rising tensions between Russia and Ukraine.
Beata Zawrzel/AP

Biden’s got a far-away look and says, “Let me tell you about the Soviet Union,” and starts rambling about Nikita Khrushchev and the Cuban missile crisis. “I told JFK we should have nuked Cuba, but he wouldn’t listen,” Biden said. “Did I ever tell you about how he made me his secret emissary to Castro?”

A younger aide, inexperienced in BidenSpeak, jumps in to say, “I thought it was Golda Meir who made you a secret emissary.”

The president looks confused, then recovers to say, “It was both of them.”

Blinken, rattled by the pressure and frustrated by Biden’s dithering, tries to steer him back to the point.

“Mr. President, what do we tell the Americans in Ukraine? We need something to say.”

Angry at being forced to make a tough decision, Biden shouts at Blinken. “How the hell should I know? That’s your job. Tell them they’re on their own. They got themselves into Ukraine, they can get themselves out.”

Ukrainian police and National Guard servicemen take part in military exercises for timely and effective response to situations with destabilizing factors as tensions grow at the border.
Ukrainian police and National Guard servicemen take part in military exercises for timely and effective response to situations with destabilizing factors as tensions grow at the border.
Oleg Petrasyuk/EPA

Klain immediately stands up, says to Blinken, “You got your answer,” and ushers everyone to the door, claiming the president has a full schedule and can’t spare a minute more on Ukraine.

When the door closes behind them, Klain tells Biden he can have his nap now. “We’ll take it from here, just like always,” he says.

When he gets to the door, he looks back to say something else and realizes the 46th president is already asleep.

Let this job stay undone

“Our job’s not done. That’s why I’m running for re-election.”

So says Rep. Ilhan Omar, she of “The Squad” and the antisemitic caucus.

Her logic for re-election — the job’s not done — recalls what candidate Ed Koch said when Mayor Abe Beame sought re-election during the city’s fiscal crisis.

Rep.  Ilhan Omar is one of the members of the far-left wing of the Democratic party.
Rep. Ilhan Omar is one of the members of the far-left wing of the Democratic party.
PA

Beame said he wanted to finish the job, leading Koch to say, “Finish the job? Hasn’t he done enough already?”

Need the jab to shoot up?

Reader Harold Theurer, his BS detector firmly in place, writes: “With NYC opening heroin rest stops, I’m wondering if addicts, pardon me, ‘guests,’ are required to show proof of vaccinations prior to entering. After all, I have to show proof at the corner pizza shop to order a slice to go.”

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