Our mind is our worst enemy,” said actress Beauty Gonzalez, who admitted to have long been suffering from a mental condition called imposter syndrome.
“It’s the feeling that you don’t belong where you are, that you just got there by luck, and that you feel you’re a phony when the truth is that it’s all because of you that good things are happening in your life. This negative feeling sneaks up on you and pulls you down,” the actress explained during a recent Facebook live event organized by the Japanese designed skincare brand Hakubi.
“Dealing with it is not easy. It’s a long process. Most of us who have it aren’t aware that it exists. Imagine people all around me calling me ‘Beauty,’ telling me that I’m beautiful but I don’t feel like it,” said Beauty, whose real name is Christine Marie Gonzalez.
(According to www.healthline.com, imposter syndrome involves feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist despite one’s education, experience, and accomplishments. To counter these feelings, you might end up working harder and holding yourself to ever higher standards. This pressure can eventually take a toll on your emotional well-being and your performance. Over time, this can fuel a cycle of anxiety, depression and guilt.)“You tackle it by constantly being aware of how you feel, by acknowledging and accepting that such feeling exists and that we also have it within our power to change it to a happy and positive one,” added the 30-year-old actress.
“What I do is surround myself with people I love, those who make me laugh and feel good about myself,” said the wife of Filipino businessman Norman Crisologo and mom of 6-year-old Olivia.
“It also helps when you celebrate your achievements, even though it’s difficult for you. I’m always too hard on myself as an actress. I’m a perfectionist,” she admitted. “Celebrate your small victories, your simple joys. Smile, dance—I still do it even though I look like a traffic officer when I dance—and start your day by listening to your favorite songs. Hug your favorite people, too.
“I don’t know about the others but this works for me: talk to yourself like how you would to your child; be loving, caring and understanding to yourself. Slowly, you will feel your insecurities disappear.”
Beauty said she is aware that controlling this condition is an uphill battle. “But you have to believe in yourself and the people who believe in you. You also need to be aware that you have it before you will be able to fix it. It’s hard but you have to pull yourself out of that situation,” said the actress, who first joined show biz via the reality talent search “Pinoy Big Brother” in 2008.
“Practicing self-love changed my world. It’s actually infectious. If you love yourself, people will be naturally drawn to you. They will also feel love for you,” she further said. “When you’re happy and optimistic, the world around you changes. You become more productive. Also, your outlook will change and you will become more daring.”
Beauty said she made sure to teach her daughter the importance of self-love by showing the precocious child how to practice it. “She’s like a sponge. She follows what she sees. I know that only a small percentage of what I tell her will be retained in her mind, but it’s different when she actually sees me doing what I say,” Beauty explained. “I teach her about confidence and self-care. She sees that I work out and take good care of my body, that I sleep early, and that I read books. I’m hoping that what she sees me do will be ingrained in her mind.”
She added: “Achieving it had been a long process, but it was worth it. I started by preparing myself mentally. I try to be open. It’s hard to do that and then think that everything around you is just noise.”
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