Photo: CNBC/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images
The season finale of The Dropout, Hulu’s nuanced portrait of a turtle-necked girlboss, dropped on April 7, and it couldn’t have come at a worse time. Thanks to this very miniseries, we’ve never been more invested in Elizabeth Holmes and her many, many blood crimes. Now that we’ll never have another new episode of Amanda Seyfried threatening all of Silicon Valley again, we’ll take new Holmes content wherever we can get it. And we got it. It appears that Holmes’s Twitter account from Theranos’s heyday is still more or less entirely intact and available to peruse with tweets going back to August 2015. It’s like a Dropout crash course, only real, and with way more mid-2010s hashtaggery. We’ve curated some lowlights below.
Here we have a TBT pic of Baby Holmes accompanied by the hashtag #ILookLikeAnEngineer. Just an amuse-bouche of the corporate feminism to come.
Holmes’s feed at this time is full of her retweeting her own quotes. This one says, “Define what is non-negotiable to you, what you are willing to fight for, die for, live for,” superimposed on the Golden Gate Bridge. Threatening, considering how people use this as a place to “die for” stuff. Extremely dark.
Here’s another self-quote macro image, and now she’s firmly in her Canva era. “SUCCESS is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on FIRE.” Spoiler alert: She did!
The words “Kissinger on @eholmes2003” are almost too much to bear.
She’s committed to achieving her passion. Her passion just happens to be allegedly defrauding Walgreens.
The closest she comes to making a joke on her whole timeline.
Holmes was really trying to get “#ironsisters” going. It’s something about how under every glass ceiling, there’s an iron woman. It’s not a … perfect metaphor. And nothing lays bare the hollowness of empty “feminism” than wishing Margaret Thatcher’s corpse “Happy birthday.”
It’s October 15, and we’ve hit the wall street journal item drop. Holmes is scrambling.
But there’s still time to turn things around. Quick! Get a RT from Meghan McCain’s dad!
The Theranos-branded historical quotes are getting a bit more on the nose.
Holmes is upfront about launching before FDA approval.
It sounds like someone who knows nothing about STEM being asked to give a quote about STEM.
Rosa Parks was an #ironsister, apparently.
Getting to actively assault people in a foreign nation is actually a girlboss slay.
Remember the part of the show where she tests her fake tech on real people’s real bodies? Anyway.
She really thought she was Genius Bar–ifying privatized health care.
The last tweet written by Holmes on this account was December 15, 2015. To quote Will Smith, get her name out of your mouth.